Why do your conversations only last 60 seconds

Meet new people and make friends

It comes down to listening and understanding what the person say. More likely you didn’t show interest in what the other person is interested in.


Example 1:

Imagine a person is super passionate about gardening/gaming, and a conversation went like this.

    Him: what do you like doing?

    Her: I love gardening (or gaming).

    Him: Cool! How was your weekend btw?


Example 2:

This is an actual conversation we saw online and we’re borrowing it here

     Him: Noticing her blue dyed hair So what’s your favorite type of dye for your hair.

     Her: mine would have to be snow fox

     Him: By the way my names xx…..I recognize that logo, do you go to that college?


Not showing interest = disinterest

From those two brief chats, she knows he’s not interested in gardening/gaming/hair dye. She may feel passionate to talk about those topics but she had to hold her tongue. People don’t want to talk about things that they feel will bore others. So her passion to talk is like a missile launching in the sky, but his disinterest shoots the missile down, causing collision and disconnection.


Move on too quickly

Are you doing that to other people when having a conversation? When people share a piece of information that they find interesting, do you mark it as uninteresting/boring in your mind and try to quickly move on to another topic? If you do that, the other person will feel a lack of connection.


Look out for a tester

A tester is a short sentence that people share to test your interest. They can talk more about it but they don’t (i.e. I would love to dye my hair red or I bike over the weekend). People won’t talk more about it or elaborate unless you show interest.


If you move on to another topic too quickly without showing interest or understanding of their interest, you’re taking away their opportunity to talk about things they care about. If that happens, it doesn’t matter how many questions you ask to keep the conversation going, it will get dry and boring for the other person quickly.

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